Once upon a time, in a very big city, there was a fast-food place that a young girl liked to eat at. There were only two in this very big city and they were quite a distance from one another but both were very tasty and enjoyed by the girl.
Like a creature of habit, the girl always bought the same thing. A grilled burger on a lightly toasted bun with grated cheddar cheese and Sauce. Oh, the Sauce. Happiness joined these two: the juicy burger and the yummy Sauce. And when the girl ate there, she joined in the happy union....and savored the moment.
Then one day the girl moved away.
Far, far away. Like when you discover it's hard to visit as often as you'd like and your heart starts hurting.
The body can always move. The heart often remains.
The girl decided that life was going to be only as good as she could make it so she set out to make it tasty.
Tasty is important. Never forget that.
Burgers, even juicy ones, can be made. Lightly toasted buns, grated sharp cheddar cheese....all these things can be had. But the Sauce!
So....on a dark and foggy night the girl set out to reunite herself with the moment of Happiness between Juicy Burger and Sauce.....as they had come to be known.
Call it fate. Call it destiny. Call it desperation on a mission. Yummy Sauce was achieved and forevermore became known far and wide as LOVE SAUCE! (Can you hear the angels singing???)
Love Sauce....a hush falls over the room.
Love Sauce...the mouth begins to water.
Love Sauce....a smile escapes the lips.
Love Sauce....Reunited with the Juicy Burger!
And now, many years later after a long bout of soul-searching, the girl, almost as young as she was in the former days.....only younger now because of the joy in her heart, decided to share this piece of Happiness with you.
You will accomplish this great feat with unexpected ease. You will pass it on to future generations. You will slather it on your burgers and pile high the mountain of grated cheddar cheese. You will become known far and wide for your great culinary skills. You will sing my praises...if you don't happen to already. And you will shout with exclamations of joy when the Great Burger Day comes and you can once again make Love Sauce.
Let us get down to business now. Are you prepared to begin impacting the world with more love?
Assemble you supplies and start your engines.
You'll need only a few things to make your great mark in the Book of Tantalizing Tastes:
1 cup of ketchup, a very good brand, if you please
3 tablespoons of Liquid Smoke
Bowl and spoon
Mix the two together until they are one. Lick spoon. You're done.
You are now a Graduate of my Tantalizing Taste School for Masters.
What? Did you forget to send in the application for acceptance to this great school no-one-anywhere-has-ever-heard-about? Did you not enclose your check or money order? Are you suggesting you just got all this for free???
I guess I'll let you slide this one time....if you make this one deal with me. Use my Great and Wonderful recipe frequently and herein and forevermore refer to it as the great Love Sauce that it is and spread your fair share of love in this world. The Good Lord knows we sure need it!
A message from the Dean of Culinary Education (that's me after all):
You may at any time adjust the measurements given. I just wanted to get you on a roll. More, less, whatever you want. You're the Boss, I only pretend to be the Boss. I found out I don't really like being the Boss. It's too demanding and bossy. It really doesn't pay that well either~